Hey, I need to tell you something that's been happening lately.

I've been getting intrusive thoughts about what happened again, and I've been spiraling a little. I don't really know why they're showing up right now. It's not because of our uptick in sex, and I don't want you to interpret it that way. A lot of the time it happens when we're not even interacting. I'll literally be sitting there studying, completely removed from anything sexual, and suddenly my brain is back there.

I don't need you to panic or start beating yourself up when I tell you this. I'm not telling you because I want you to feel guilty or because I think you're currently unsafe. I'm telling you because I need help carrying this while we're trying to repair what happened.

I think part of repairing this has to be your responsibility too. You broke something in me, and I can't be the only person responsible for putting it back together. I don't mean that you need to make the thoughts disappear or somehow fix my brain. I mean I need you to help me feel safe when this comes up, and I need to know that I can bring it to you without having to manage your reaction on top of what I'm already dealing with.

I love you, and I see the work you're doing. That's exactly why I feel like I can tell you this instead of hiding it. But sometimes I need you to help me carry the consequences of what happened rather than leaving me alone with them because you're afraid of feeling guilty.

I don't need you to punish yourself. I need you to show me, over and over, that you're safe now.